After 3 days of hard work, our class reporters Guillem and Pepe, have sent me this report. I’m very dissapointed with the result. Well, the headline is not that bad, I guess it is about the only good part of their article that deserves to be published. It seems that the work done in class with headlines had some results.
Here follows Pepe and Guillem’s article. It really needs to be polished before it can be published in our class newspaper. Let’s see if you can contribute with your suggestions. I will copy their article in blue and my objections in red.
In case you like it, I enclose a photograph to include in the front page. Claudia’s calculator is not among the flying objects, but a good caption might put up for that.
THE FLYING CALCULATOR
Last Friday, before English class, Guillem found his pencil case in Angel’s table. Inside his pencil case he found a calculator. Nobody asked for the calculator, so Guillem asked Zandalie to borrow a black marker, and started to paint the calculator. When Judit saw Guillem painting the calculator, she said that the calculator was Claudia’s calculator, and she told Claudia that Guillem was painting her calculator. Claudia interrupted the class, saying that someone had robbed her calculator. Then, Maria decided to punish Guillem and Pepe on Monday and Guillem had to clean the calculator.
This was Guillem’s report. I’m afraid, Guillem has a long way to go until he becomes a good journalist. Anyway, I will publish his article and, hopefully, with everybody’s help, next one will be better.
- Does the reporter answer the “wh” questions? When, Who, Why…?
- Who writes the article?
- Is content interesting ?
- Did the reporter interview any of the witnesses?
- Is the order of events clear?
- Are there any unanswered questions?
- What was Guillem doing in Angel’s desk?
- Who was the owner of the marker? Zandalie? Guillem?
- Can a calculator be robbed or rather be stolen?
- When did the finding of the mysterious calculator take place? During break? During English class?
- Why did Guillem decide to paint the calculador?
- What is the role of Zandalie in this mess?
- Why was Pepe punished?
- Why did Maria punish Pepe?
- What was the punishement?
Bearing in mind that Pepe and Guillem spent an hour making a report of what had happened, I have to say that their narration of events is very confusing and biased. I’m afraid, the only part I like is the headline: flying calculator.