1.en.10 Writing a description: Taylor’s model

In your last lesson you were asked to produce a description of our new assistant teacher, Taylor Ault.
Some of you did quite well, but your writing can be improved.
Here follows a text written by Taylor that will help you organize your  descriptions into distinct paragraphs.

Read Taylor’s description and answer the following questions:

  1. How many paragraphs is her text divided into?
  2. Can you think of a heading for each paragraph?
  3. Are the paragraphs organized according to a certain order?
  4. Are there any words you do not understand?
  5. Does every paragraph deal with the same period in Taylor’s life?
  6. Can you explain the changes in  verb tenses?
  7. Did you know how to spell correctly the names of places and people?

A Little Bit About Me!

Hello!  My name is Taylor Ault.  I am 24 years old and am from Stratford, Connecticut.  Connecticut is a small state in the North East corner of the United States and borders New York.  I would describe myself as having blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin.  I think that I am adventurous, youthful, optimistic, loving, and a good friend.

I have two parents who still live in Connecticut.  In addition to my parents, I also have two cats (Noel and Emma) and one dog (Bailey) at home.  My younger sister, Victoria, is 22 years old and goes to university in New York.  Even though I love Mallorca, I still miss my pets and family sometimes!

At the age of 18, in 2004, I left Connecticut and went to Princeton University for four years.  Princeton is located in the state of New Jersey.  At Princeton I studied Art History.  When I wasn’t working, I played soccer and spent time with my friends.

When I graduated from Princeton in 2008, I worked for a program called AmeriCorps.  During my time with AmeriCorps, I taught young children how to read and write in an after school program.  When I finished working for AmeriCorps, I decided to come to Spain.  Last year I taught at IES Mossen Alcover in Manacor and at CP Na Penyal in Cala Millor.  I lived in Manacor and spent lots of time playing tennis, reading books, and learning all about the island.  I loved Mallorca so much, that I decided to come back for a second year.  This year I live in Palma and teach at IES Ramon Llull.

In the future I would like to be a lawyer in the United States.  I hope to work for a museum in New York or Boston.  However, right now, I am very excited to be working at Ramon Llull!  I think I will have a great year with the amazing students here!

Homework for Monday 18th October:

Copy Taylor’s model in your notebook.Answer the questions in your notebook too. Post to the blog the mark you got in your writing about Taylor and the aspects you need to improve.


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33 Respostes to “1.en.10 Writing a description: Taylor’s model”

  1. sarabouza12 Says:

    How many paragraphs is her text divided into?
    -In 5 paragraphs.
    Can you think of a heading for each paragraph?
    -Personal and physical description, and origen.
    -Family and feelings.
    -Reased part.
    -Her work and her hobbies.
    -The future in the United States.
    Are the paragraphs organized according to a certain order?
    -Yes according of the tense.
    Are there any words you do not understand?
    -Yes: Lawyer->abogado.
    Does every paragraph deal with the same period in Taylor’s life?
    -No, every paragraph talk about one part of her life
    Can you explain the changes in verb tenses?
    -Yes, in the past the verbs can be regular (finish -ed) or irregular. In the future you put will before the verb ( will be)
    Did you know how to spell correctly the names of places and people?
    Yes.

    • sarabouza12 Says:

      In the exam about Taylor my mark is a 6.
      My errors:
      -Messy.
      -Organize information in paragraphs.
      -Have-has.
      -She’s her.
      -Thing-think.
      -Favourites-favourite/tradicionals-tradicional.
      -The other way around

  2. aina Says:

    My mark was 5.5 and my mistakes were spelling errors
    -Lived, the most is, her sister, likes reading.
    – I must link sentences.
    -Make paragraphs.
    – Missing information.

  3. philline Says:

    My mark was 5’5
    Errors:
    – Make paragraphs
    – The Spelling
    – The past tense: study/studied – Playing/played.

  4. neusr Says:

    my mark was 4
    errors:
    I don¡t organizaed the information
    the past:ask/asked
    she/her

  5. Peptoni Font Says:

    My mark was 1.
    Errors:
    · Make paragraphs
    · Her
    · Missing information
    · taller – tall

  6. idaira santana Says:

    My mark was 4.
    Errors:
    ·She could/is called
    ·She live/she is from
    ·Tach a/showed us
    ·Small/littel
    ·Anoder/the other
    ·Mons/months

  7. sarah789 Says:

    My mark was 6,5.
    Errors:
    ·Make paragraphs.
    ·Needs to be structured.
    ·Study-studies.
    ·I wrote fond instead of writing pond.
    ·Commas that had to be dots.

  8. carlos garaví Says:

    My mark is 2.
    errors:
    -I write the description with pencil.
    -little information
    -structure
    -poor punctuation

  9. alemanymarta Says:

    My mark was 3’5 😦
    errors:
    but she state in conecticut.
    hear- heir
    has got- is
    got i her house- got in her house
    like’s- like
    state
    at- from
    of- to
    as- us
    fathe- father
    poor puntuation and structure…

  10. andrea199762 Says:

    My mark was 4:
    Errors:
    – I mixed it all
    – I put the wrong verb tenses
    – Was
    – her- she
    -s

  11. pepe1997 Says:

    My mark was 2
    Errors:
    1-
    In 3 paragraphs.
    2-
    Personal and physical description and her hobbies.
    Her famili and the pets and origens.
    I expect Taylor.
    3-
    No.
    4-
    Lawyer=abogado
    still=todavía o aún
    graduated=graduado
    5-
    No, this text talk abaut of the parts the life of Taylor her family and pets her origens, her University…
    6-
    Yes in the past Taylor utilize the verbs regulars and irregulars.And the future she use will be or will.
    7-
    No.

    • pepe1997 Says:

      1-
      In 5 paragraps.
      2-
      Personal, origens and physical description.
      Family, pets.
      Reased part.
      Her work and were she worked and her hobbies.
      her future is the United States.

  12. pepe1997 Says:

    My mark was 2
    Errors:
    structure
    Very mistake
    And the future.
    And has-have

  13. india16 Says:

    My mark is this writing is a 8.
    Errors:
    Paragraphs structure
    Some writing mistakes.

  14. neusr Says:

    1)five
    2)descripcion,fisical and origens
    family and pets
    reased parts
    her works and hobbies
    the future

  15. Pilar Says:

    My mark was 6´5.
    Errors:
    -spellings mistakes
    -make paragraphs.
    -Verbs: the past tense.
    the 3rd person.

  16. gabriel384 Says:

    My mark was 1
    Errors:
    very little information
    lecks structure

  17. tatidt Says:

    How many paragraphs is her text divided into?
    Into 5.

    Can you think of a heading for each paragraph?
    1- Physical and personality description.
    2- Family and pets.
    3- Studies.
    4- Finally, in Spain!
    5- Her aims for the future.

    Are the paragraphs organized according to a certain order?
    Yes, they are. Starting with her presentation and ending with her plans for the next future.

    Are there any words you do not understand?
    No. there aren’t.

    Does every paragraph deal with the same period in Taylor’s life?
    No, she starts in the past, she continues with her present life, and she finishes with her future plans.

    Can you explain the changes in verb tenses?
    She uses the present to talk about her life, routines, habits…
    She uses the past to tell us things that she has already done such as studying at Princeton University, her first trip to Mallorca and so on.
    She uses simple future and simple conditional to talk about future plans and things that she would like to do or to become.

    Did you know how to spell correctly the names of places and
    people?
    I knew how to spell the names of people but I failed spelling Connecticut. (I just wrote an “n”)
    ________________________________________________

    I got 8 points.

    Mistakes:
    A bit messy.
    Some accuracy problems.

  18. juditell Says:

    1- Five paragraphs
    2- Paragraph 1: Personal and physical description
    Paragraph 2: Pets and Family
    Paragraph 3: Her studies
    Paragraph 4: Her old job
    Paragraph 5: Her future
    3- Yes
    4- No
    5- No, each paragraph was a piece of her life
    6- Taylor use present to paragraph 1 and 2
    She use past to paragraph 3 and 4
    She use future to paragraph 5
    7- Yes
    ________________________________________________

    My mark was 4
    Errors:
    – Missing information
    – Messy
    – Speling problems

  19. emil7234 Says:

    1. In five paragraphs.
    2. 1st paragraph – description to her origen.
    2nd paragraph – family
    3th paragraph – adulthood
    4th paragraph – firsts works
    5th parafraph – future
    3. Yes they are. Start with description and end with her plan to the future.
    4. Yes : addition-además and however-sin embargo.
    5. No , each paragraph account a different period in her live.
    6. Yes there are three parts of the story . 1st- present , 2nd- past and 3th- future. Each verb must agree with the time.
    7. Now , I think more.

    ———————————————————————–

    My mark was three.
    My erros were:
    1. A structure.
    2. Conte¡ingut- I need more information about Princetoun and about , what she likes of Mallorca.
    3. Spelling : have-has , him -her , Prinston – Princetoun , catched – stole , tesors – treanses , complet my expect – fulfilled my expetehics.

  20. xiskete Says:

    My mark was 6,5.
    Errors:
    was- She was.
    years- years old.
    she like- she likes.
    for- to.
    english- English.
    Check de estructure.

  21. angelblanchvallespir Says:

    1-How many paragraphs is her text divided into?
    -Into 5 paragraphs.

    2-Can you think of a heading for each paragraph?
    -paragraph1: Origens and her self description.
    -paragraph2: Family.
    -paragraph3: Studies.
    -paragraph4: Her work and Mallorca.
    -paragraph5: Future.

    3-Are the paragraphs organized according to a certain order?
    -Yes.

    4-Are there any words you do not understand?
    -No.

    5-Does every paragraph deal with the same period in Taylor’s life?
    -No, in diferent periods.

    6-Can you explain the changes in verb tenses?
    -There are three different kind of verbs: past, present and future.

    7-Did you know how to spell correctly the names of places and people?
    -Yes.-
    _______________________________________________

    My mark was 7.
    My errors where:
    -Handwriting.
    -The information must to be organiced on blocks.
    -And an uncorrect part.

  22. miguelinramonllull Says:

    My mark it was a 7’5.

    My mistakes:
    – Spelling mistakes.
    – Expression mistakes.
    – Bad distribution in paragraphs.
    – Tenses mistakes.

  23. Daryl Jade Says:

    1. How many paragraphs is her text divided into?
    It is divided in 5 paragraphs.
    2. Can you think of a heading for each paragraph?
    – General aspects
    – Her family
    – Taylor’s studies
    – Decitions and hobbies
    – Her Future
    3. Are the paragraphs organized according to a certain order?
    Yes, it is
    4. Are there any words you do not understand?
    No, I think I understood all the words
    5. Does every paragraph deal with the same period in Taylor’s life?
    No, Because she began to talk about her present, then her past and finally her future.
    6. Can you explain the changes in verb tenses?
    There is three types of tenses: Past, Present and Future.
    7. Did you know how to spell correctly the names of places and people?
    Yes, I could.

  24. Rodrigo Deus Says:

    My mark was 5’5.

    Errors:
    – Messy.
    – Problems with spelling and expresions.
    – Missing some information.

  25. idaira santana Says:

    1.How many paragraphs is her text divided into?
    Divided in 5 paragraphs.
    2.Can you think of a heading for each paragraph?
    -The origens and her self
    -Family and pets
    -Studies
    -Her work
    -Future
    3.Are the paragraphs organized according to a certain order?
    Yes
    4.Are there any words you do not understand?
    No,I understand old the words
    5.Does every paragraph deal with the same period in Taylor’s life?
    No, all the paragraphs have different information
    6.Can you explain the changes in verb tenses?
    There are three types of tenses: Past, Present and Future.
    7.Did you know how to spell correctly the names of places and people?
    Yes.

  26. 144lala Says:

    I have not yet given the wording because on Tuesday did not attend class but deliver them on Monday without fail.

  27. jlny7288 Says:

    My mark was 7.
    My errors were:
    -Some writing mistakes.
    -I must learn to link words and sentences.

  28. Zandalie Says:

    My mark was 3’5.
    My errors were:
    – Some words.
    – Problems with spelling.
    – He/has/his/him (I wrote a different description)


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